As a three-time, 24-year survivor of stage IV non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, I have tried my best to be a loving, attentive father during my battles with cancer and related illnesses.
For me, the very worst thing about having cancer is the impact it has had on my family.
When you are sick, you just can’t be as good a parent as you want to be. No matter how hard you try.
I have a loving and understanding daughter who is a high achiever and she has grown into an amazing young woman. But she has been through a lot in her life. She's seen me get very sick, and then get well, and then get very sick again. It's been going on virtually since she was born.
The impact that a parent’s cancer has on children is profound. But sadly it goes largely unseen by the parents, or by anyone. Children simply do not fully understand why their dad or mom is sick.
We are supposed to be there for them, Always. But they keep so much of this fear, sadness and anger inside. They are hurting more than we know.
Kids typically just don’t know how to cope with it. It can be confusing and frightening for a child, and even a teenager. But they typically wear a brave face. And that is part of the problem. We often have no clue how much they are suffering. But they are. All of them.
Our Greatest Gift
When I was first diagnosed with cancer, I was engaged. My wife and I got married just days before my chemotherapy began.When my cancer recurred for the first time, I enrolled in a clinical trial of an investigative new radio-immunotherapy treatment. At the time, we had no idea that my wife was pregnant.
When we learned the good news just a few weeks after I participated in the trial, we were of course elated. And as I recovered from my cancer and our newborn grew, it brought more joy to us than you we could have imagined.
I continued to deal with cancer and other related health issues, including massive chronic pain and a pulmonary embolism (blood clots in the lungs) that almost killed me. And each time I had a health setback, it obviously made it hard for me and thus hard on my daughter.
But along this journey, I was fortunate to discover a remarkable resource when my daughter was still very young. And it has helped my entire family immeasurably over the last decade-plus.
It’s called The Children’s Treehouse Foundation. Founded in January of 2001 in Denver, Colo., the Children’s Treehouse Foundation is the nation’s only organization providing group-based, psychosocial intervention developed specifically to support the emotional needs of children and teens who have a parent or caregiver with cancer.
This often-overlooked aspect of cancer treatment now thankfully has a scientifically studied and proven program that kids, parents and oncology professionals all rave about.
The CLIMB® Program {Children’s Lives Include Moments of Bravery} offers vital programs and benefits to children and to the parents.
Here is just some of what the Foundation offers:
* Our Children - The program helps to normalize feelings of sadness, anxiety, fear and anger of the children, while stimulating improved communication between the children and the parents.
* Family Support - With the help of the group-support program, the family’s burden of dealing with cancer, and the inevitable stress, is significantly and demonstrably reduced.
* Professional Training – The program also supports the cancer center oncology support professionals and gives them the tools they need to conduct ongoing support programs.
Our Founder
The Foundation was created by my dear friend Peter van Dernoot, a very successful public relations executive for many years who saw what impact his wife's cancer had on their children.
Peter is a visionary and true pioneer. And Denis Murray, the Foundation's Executive Director, is a brilliant caretaker of Peter's vision. The two of them have escorted this dream to a long and very highly respected position in the world of cancer non-profit organizations.
I've worked with many, happily. But this one is my favorite.
And now it's time to celebrate Peter and Denis and all who have given to this very worthy and historically under-looked cause.
This week, the Children’s Treehouse Foundation celebrates its 20-year anniversary. During this celebration, the Foundation is appropriately highlighting the invaluable contributions of Dr. Sue Heiney.
Dr. Heiney, who has more than 30 years of experience providing psychosocial care and therapy to children and adults with cancer and their families, is the original author of the CLIMB® Program and was the principal trainer for The Children’s Treehouse Foundation for 13 years.
For this anniversary, the Foundation has created the Sue P. Heiney Award for Program Excellence to acknowledge the organization that delivers the CLIMB® Program with distinction that exemplifies her dedication and commitment.
The first recipient of the Sue P. Heiney Award goes to MD Anderson, the acclaimed cancer hospital in Houston, Texas that has been running the program since 2007.
Click here on January 21 to join the virtual presentation.
MD Anderson’s coordinator trained for the Foundation for seven years. The hospital created the Kid-to-Kid video, helped design the Teen curriculum and they is currently providing CLIMB® in 4 locations in the Houston area.
“We chose MD Anderson because they have been a partner from the beginning,” explains Denis Murray.
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| Denis Murray and author Jamie Reno |
“They sent someone to our first training held in 2004 and they have sent several people to be trained since then. They started their program in 2007 and have run it ever since.”
One of the hospital’s coordinators, Wendy Griffith, helped create the Teen CLIMB® curriculum and one of their other Coordinators, Marisa Nowitz, was a seven-year CLIMB® trainer.
“We want to celebrate and honor all of the dedication and commitment to excellence that hospitals and these coordinators exemplify that,” Murray says.
“We could not make a difference for so many children or touch the lives of so many families without their distinguished work.”
Murray adds that the 20th anniversary “seemed like exactly the right time to start this recognition, and Dr. Heiney is exactly the right person to name this award after.”
The CLIMB® Program is now available in 58 cancer centers in the U.S. and 24 additional centers in 5 other countries worldwide.
The Foundation has trained 420 oncology professionals since it began training in 2004 and CLIMB® has served more than 16,045 children in that time.
An Enormous Need Finally Being Addressed
Cancer of course affects the entire family. But the emotional and psychosocial impact on a child whose parent has cancer often goes unnoticed and unattended.
It is estimated that approximately 3 million children in the U.S. younger than 18 are currently living with the challenge of coping with a parent who has cancer.
When a parent is diagnosed with cancer, it’s not always easy to talk with their children about the diagnosis, the treatments or about how to deal with the child’s natural anger, sadness, confusion and fear.
The hospital’s focus is on the treatment of the patient, yet the parent’s first concern is for their children. This is an area most cancer hospitals are not effectively addressing, as hard as they try.
There is an enormous unmet need in America that is now finally being addressed by this Foundation.
But there is so much more work to do, and so many more hospitals to support with these programs.
When I learned that cancer had recurred, I really wondered how I was going to share this information with my young daughter in a gentle but informative way.
Beyond my own compassionate parental instincts, I couldn’t find much out there to help guide me or my daughter.
The Foundation helped my family immensely.
Snowman on the Pitcher's Mound
And now I am returning the favor. I’m proud that I now work with the Children’s Treehouse Foundation to spread awareness about the organization's incredibly important mission.
The conversations I had with my daughter about my long and difficult cancer odyssey inspired me to write a new book in an exclusive partnership with the Foundation.
The book, which is written for both kids and adults, is called Snowman on the Pitcher’s Mound.
The book tells the story of how a 10-year-old boy from a small town in the Midwest who loves two things – baseball and his family - is coping with the recent cancer diagnosis of his mom.
Told in the voice of the boy, Nick, the book is written in an accessible and entertaining way for kids but also in a way that appeals to teens and adults.
Snowman on the Pitcher's Mound addresses the many challenges children and teens face during the upheaval of a cancer diagnosis in clever storytelling form.
The book, which initiates family discussion about the issues in a non-clinical, non-technical way, is filled with humor, joy and insights.
It becomes a companion on this challenging journey, and it literally changes the lives of virtually everyone who reads it – both children and adults.
Most importantly, the book makes this difficult subject accessible to that hardest-to-reach demographic: young boys.
The book is the anchor of a new initiative, The Pitcher’s Mound Project, whose mission is to dramatically increase awareness nationwide of this great unmet need to support children and teens when a parent is diagnosed with cancer.
We have offered the book in very small print runs to friends and my hospital. But I have never made this book available to the general public.
But it is time. At the urging of so many sources, from numerous oncologists and psychologists to parents to kids to cancer hospitals, I am going to heed their advice and take this book public. In a big way.
Snowman on the Pitcher's Mound will soon be ubiquitous, and of course a part of the Foundation that inspired it. It is time to spread this message so that every family in America that is dealing with cancer can benefit.
Every family deserves to have the early tools and emotional support to cope when a parent is diagnosed with cancer.
With The Pitcher’s Mound Project, we are determined to let children know that they are not alone.
I want to hear from you. If you or someone in your family wants this book please contact me at sdsufan2000@gmail.com.
And if you work in the healthcare field, please contact me if you want more information about the book or about the Children's Treehouse Foundation's life-changing programs, contact the Children's Treehouse Foundation directly:
The Children’s Treehouse Foundation
3333 S Wadsworth Blvd, Unit D318
Lakewood, Colorado 80227-5165
Tel: 303-322-1202